In a classroom of third graders, the teacher says to the kids,
"Today, class, we will be telling stories that have a moral to them."

She explained what a moral to a story was and asked for volunteers. Little Suzie raises her hand.

Suzie,
"I live on a farm and we have a chicken that laid 12 eggs, we were excited to have 12 more chickens but only 6 of them hatched."

Teacher,
"That's a good story, now what is the moral?"

Suzie,
"Don't count your chickens before they are hatched."

Teacher,
"Very good Suzie, anyone else?"

Ralphie,
"Yes teacher, I was carrying some eggs I bought for my mom in my bicycle basket one day and I crashed my bike and all the eggs broke."

Teacher,
"That's a nice story, what is the moral?"

Ralphie,
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket."

Teacher,
"Very good Ralphie, anyone else?"

Little Johnny,
"Yes teacher, my Aunt Karen is in the army and when she was in the Gulf War, she parachuted down with only a gun, 20 bullets, a knife, and a six-pack of beer. On her way down, she drank the six pack. When she landed, she shot 20 Iraqis and killed ten of them with her knife."

Teacher,
"Very interesting, Johnny, what is the moral to your story?"

Little Johnny,
"Don't fuck with Aunt Karen when she's drunk."